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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22587244">How do you change your email signature again?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenxara/pseuds/Zenxara'>Zenxara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Heaven Office has a reception, M/M, Pranks, just saying, never piss off the person who has control of your email and visa card</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:15:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22587244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenxara/pseuds/Zenxara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziraphale got discorporated by "accident" and placed the fear of, well, him in the Heavenly hosts.  Gabriel places him at the Heaven office reception far away from other angels.  Aziraphale gets his revenge out of it because how dare he push getting a new body for this long.</p><p>not beta, we fall like Crowley.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How do you change your email signature again?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is self-indulgent fanfic where I wish i could do everything I made Aziraphale do because covering reception, especially phones, is hard work goddamit. I hope we pay our receptionist twice what they pay me because she does 7.5 hours of this and I only do 1 hour here and there during the week and I want to hang up on so many people who called.</p><p>Receptionists are hardcore, just saying.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale discorporate by accident, well, sort off.  He saved Crowley battling Haster and killed both of them by throwing each other in front of a car.</p><p>Waking up in a room surrounded by white pristine walls was a shock.</p><p>“Oh...bugger” Aziraphale swore frowning down at the table.  He wonders how much trouble he will have to go to get a body back.</p><p>There is no clock in heaven. It is always morning in heaven too, which makes it harder to figure out how long he was in the room before he decided to venture out.  It has been so long since he stays in heaven, Aziraphale wasn’t sure where everything is.  </p><p>Aziraphale walking down a very long hallway, doors after doors alongside.  Aziraphale didn’t recognize any of this. Until he sees an angel looking down a clipboard frisky walking down toward him.</p><p>“Oh hello, could you tell me where I could find-” Aziraphale cheerfully asked hand raised in question.</p><p>The angel jumps a foot high and looked up to see who was talking to him.  His jaw dropped seeing Aziraphale before screaming bloody murder turning tail and bolting away, wings flapping furiously to give them speed. </p><p>“Well, that was rude.” Aziraphale frowned at them, pulling down at his white waistcoat out of habit more than anything.  He continues walking forward, there is bound to find someone who would help him direct to the correct place.  Or the Archangel will be contacted and come to him, either way.</p><p>Just like he predicted, Micheal, Gabriel and Uriel ran toward him, stopping in there tracks with wide eyes, Gabriel arms out protecting his sibling.</p><p>“Aziraphale,”</p><p>“Oh, Good morning Gabriel, Micheal, Uriel. Or is it evening? I can’t quite tell with the always daylight of Heaven.” Aziraphale politely said handclaps behind him, with a smile that made the archangels nervous.</p><p>“What are you doing here, wait, where is your body?” Gabriel narrowed his eyes at him slowly dropping his arms at his side, Aziraphale was being...nice, and there is no hint of sulphur of his demon around.</p><p>“Ah, well, see, a demon attacked and I was, unfortunately, discorporate at the same time I kill them. If it isn’t to much trouble, could you guide me to Paul so that I can get a new one and get back home?”</p><p>Home. Earth.  Micheal wanted to sneer in disgust but at the same time was proud of his sibling having battle with a demon, they decide to keep neutral to not give anything away.</p><p>“Who was the demon?” Micheal asked watching carefully,</p><p>“Hum? Oh Hastur, you might have heard of him? Duke of Hell?” Aziraphale might be showing off a bit there, but he thought that if he can amaze the archangel maybe they will let him have a new body and leave.</p><p>It didn’t work out that way, but close enough.  Gabriel guides Aziraphale to Paul to sign the paperwork to request a new body. The same one, please.  Then it was just waiting.  Aziraphale was good at waiting and just sit down at one of the many line chairs, back straight and hand-folded primly in front of him on his lap.</p><p>He asked for tea. The angles just looked confused and nervous around him.  He was only there for less than an hour before Gabriel was hushed back in and asked politely and with higher respect then needed as if Aziraphale was going to burn the whole heaven ground if he wasn’t given the proper courteous ask to follow him, please.</p><p>“You see, you’re making the angels nervous, and I am in charge of their well being-” Gabriel ignored Aziraphale blandly raised eyebrow “So I thought, where can I place Aziraphale that would make my angels feel safe, what does Aziraphale like. Human! So here is the reception, see we made this room special since some random worthy humans would walk in sometimes. Just a place that you can direct them back out until it's their time to go to heaven, you understand.”</p><p>Gabriel waved to the empty white room.  It had four plastic light grey chairs, two on one wall, two facing the other.  With a large marble-like table with a thin computer screen and white empty desk organizers.  A wireless keyboard and mouse in front of the screen.  A phone with complicated buttons to link to the extension of other angels set next to it.  The light was blinking saying it had voicemails.</p><p>Gabriel shows that Aziraphale was set up to the mailing system so that he will receive an email from Paul when his body was ready. To just stay here and not wonder in heaven, please.  Then Gabriel leaves just as quickly as fire on his heel.  Aziraphale looked at the very spacious and empty room and sit down on the chair.</p><p>The first thing Aziraphale did when he was finally alone was calling Crowley.  It rang until he got the answering machine off his cellphone, Aziraphale just hangs up and tried again. After the third try, Crowley finally pick up</p><p>“What, I’m busy, call back later.”</p><p>“Crowley!”</p><p>“...Aziraphale is that you!”</p><p>“Yes, oh Crowley are you okay is everything okay ?”</p><p>“Am I okay? You yooou” Crowley trailed off, “I’m fine! Even Bezulbub sends a “sorry we killed of your angel, here a box to satisfy you.”</p><p>“Should I ask what is in it?”</p><p>Crowley looked at the box on the passenger seat with the colourful toys poking out, he swaps it close, “Better not” He strangled out. “ where are you I’ll pick you up.”</p><p>“Ah, that be a bit hard I’m afraid, I’m in heaven.”</p><p>“Wot”</p><p>Aziraphale sigh, “I’m in heaven, I'm okay, safe, so far, Gabriel was more afraid than anything, I sign and fill out all the paperwork I need to get a new body but it's going to take a while.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley grunts, “I can look into Adam? He gave you a new body once, he could try again.”</p><p>“I don’t know...the boy isn’t supposed to have his powers still…” Aziraphale trailed off looking at the empty reception room area.</p><p>“They place me at the front reception area for now.” Aziraphale continued moving white desk organization things on his table here and there, “They want me far away from heaven host so that I don’t spook them.”</p><p>Crowley sighed and rubbed his face, “How long?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Aziraphale sighed again, exasperated. The place was so empty and white it was starting to give him a headache.  Can he get a headache without a body?</p><p>“Oh Crowley, what did you do with the body?” The angel remembered, they had an agreement made a long time ago, that if one or the other gets discorporate to take care of destroying the body so that it doesn’t get in human hands. It could be dangerous.</p><p>“Burned to a crisp and spread the ashes down St. James park like I promise,” Crowley sigh, “look, angel-”</p><p>“I know love, I know.”</p><p>They are silent together, just listening to the other breathing.</p><p>“Just take care of the bookshop, scare potential customers, move your plants around, and before you know it, I will be back on earth!” Aziraphale said with forced cheer, his heartbreaking missing Crowley.  He wishes he could have been stronger, done something else to defeat the Duke of Hell but at least it was done. And it wasn’t too bad, Heaven is leaving him alone. And it sounds like Hastur had worked behind Bezulbub if the Prince of Hell sends a care package as a sorry, Crowley will be safe until he gets back on earth.</p><p>“Right bookshop,” Crowley grunt, he wasn’t looking forward to this, but at least it will pass the time. Give more minor chaos at the bookshop.  Maybe bring a few upgrades*</p><p>*...Crowley might treated to upgrade the bookshop to this millennia but both Aziraphale and Crowley knew it was just talk. It would ruin the aesthetic and as much as Crowley grumbles he likes the bookshop as it is, it is so full of Aziraphale...he might, however, change a few records to some he likes.</p><p>“Mmhmm, you know the usual?”</p><p>Aziraphale could hear the grin, “Angel, I’m a demon, I think I know how to run a bookshop...well you’re bookshop. Don’t sell anything, scare away customers,”</p><p>“Just don't hurt anyone,”</p><p>“Do you know who I am,” Crowley scoff.</p><p>“Yes, I do. Don’t bring the rats, they will only eat the books.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, protect the books at all times, “ Crowley waved it away.</p><p>---</p><p>Aziraphale couldn’t tell how much time had passed, He tried to miracle some plants in the room to give some pop of colour but it had been dis-miracle, not even a minute after, then receive a passive-aggressive email from Gabriel to not miracle anything else or else it will take longer for him to get his body.  Aziraphale wanted to argue but let it slide, the more he is compliant with their demands the faster he can get a body and leave this sterile, unlove place.</p><p>Crowley did contact him again about Adam, he couldn’t get a new body that way, the boy’s power wasn’t as strong as the first time. Plus his power is of the infernal side and he couldn’t create an angel's body.</p><p>He would get some random phone calls from time to time, just here to transfer them to the angel they are looking for.  He had to guide two humans, so far, back out. It was mostly boring.</p><p>He had started to play solitaire on the computer or any atari games that he can download.  Aziraphale noticed that if he ordered things the human ways, it didn’t trigger Gabriel to un-miracle it away. So he had two plants, a motivational poster he liked and ordered delivery from his favourite places.  The delivery person was confused but did find the place so it was a plus in his book.</p><p>Convincing Gabriel that the decoration was always there from the beginning was the hardest part. </p><p>He sent an email to Crowley once, and regret it immediately because Crowley keeps sending him rickrolling videos and spamming emails.  If it wasn’t so funny he would reprimand the demon but he will never admit to him how much it makes his day.</p><p>Two weeks past from what Aziraphale could tell from the calendar on the computer when Gabriel visited him for the third time.  Asking Aziraphale to book him a boardroom and make a meeting request to the following angels, thank you! And left just as quickly with a piece of heavenly memo paper with golden scribble names.  That….Aziraphale thought of a word that would make Crowley proud of him. Aziraphale huffed and did the meeting request anyway.  After he sends it away he picks up the phone calling Crowley.</p><p>“I think that they are punishing me having me at the reception,”  He told to Crowley as soon as he picked up. “I saw an angel leave with a new corporation that he only submit the claim for a new one days ago! I know, I help them fill it out and mail it. And just now, Gabriel asked me to set up a meeting request for him like..like I’m his assistant or something”</p><p>“You should pay them back,” Crowley said after the angel outburst.</p><p>“That is absurd, I might be mistaken, it might have been a different angel, and Gabriel doesn’t know how the emails work, I just need a break, I miss tea.”  Crowley could hear the angle pout, it was absurd how adorable this was.</p><p>“You didn’t order a tea set with all the junk you been filling up the room?”</p><p>“No,” Azirpahle scoff to himself, “ without a corporation, I can’t even taste anything unless its extremely spicy and that’s just a waste.”</p><p>Crowley only hummed clearly distracted on the other side, Aziraphale sighed and said he calls back hanging up just as he got another phone call.</p><p>The phone was complicated with so many buttons and lights.  He had a short training with it but it was so...modern and complicated compared to the phone at the bookshop.  He misses the simplicity of his phone. And bookshop. He misses earth. He misses Crowley and the Ritz and tea.</p><p>He was just being silly. And missing earth...and missing Crowley. Aziraphale sighed again and looked at the heavenly calendar, which was completely empty like it was three weeks ago when they placed him here.  It was absurd, they didn’t need him here at all.  Aziraphale entertains himself with a game of Mojang again when he received an email from Crowley.  It had no subject line or body message except for a video link.</p><p>Aziraphale groans if its the rickrolling fella again.</p><p>---<br/>
The next day Aziraphale still trying very hard to be good, notice someone walking in. The person was wearing a long beige coat, had a black recycling bag over his shoulder and tight white pants with gold glittering cowboy-like shoes. Aziraphale tilted his head, the aura felt familiar, the gait is very familiar, and that coat ...wait.</p><p>“Crowley!?” Aziraphale yelp standing up fast behind the counter, both happy and fearful that the demon got in. “How did you - why are you - wait, is that my coat?”</p><p>Crowley grin behind the white rimed shade as he pops the collar.</p><p>“Relax angel, no one can tell it's me, you’ve been wearing this coat for 400 years it’s saturated with angelic aura.” He drawls before stopping in front of the counter. He just started taking in the white suit and pale skin of his husband. Crowley took a deep breath.</p><p>“Are you wearing cowboy boots? I thought that was a fashion disaster and should all be destroyed with hellish fire, as you put it?” Aziraphale cut him off looking at the golden shoes.</p><p>“That.” Crowley show off the shoes, popping with his heel, “ Are magical unsinking boots. Adam might not be able to get you a new body, but can make things that will grant me the ability to see you when I can.” Crowley tap shoes on the floor, “they are atrocious and design by a 22-year-old mind that wants to troll Heavenly host just as I want.”</p><p>“Anyway, here” He opens the bag and starts taking things out, “I can’t stay long so I just want to drop things off so you’re not too bored with those wankers”</p><p>“-Really my dear” Aziraphale tried to be stern but couldn’t stop smiling, he wanted to reach out and touch but didn’t know if without a corporation he would hurt the demon with his heavenly spirit.</p><p>“Here some tin of the biscuit you like, and your tea and kettle,  I wanted to give your cocoa but couldn’t find it in your damn flat, it's a hazard Aziraphale.” Crowley monotone as he pulls out things after things out of the small bag like Mary Poppins. Aziraphale just looked with love in his eyes.</p><p>“And this guy, because he knows what he did” Crowley hissed at the short potted plant placing it at the edge of the table. “And also this one, because I know you like it,” he added with a blush.</p><p>Aziraphale gasp and grab the book in his hands, fingers hovering over the title,</p><p>“You brought me Wild? Oh, Anthony you really do love me,” Aziraphale said hugging the book to his chest. He missed his books, he misses his demon, it was so good to see him.</p><p>Crowley makes a disgusted face, “ew, no, don’t call me that, never call me that.” He shouldered his bag again.  He looked around the room really taking it in.</p><p>“Huh, this isn’t so bad, make me think of doctor offices.” Crowley plays with one of the leaves of the tall plant next to the chairs. “I say you still should prank those wankers, they are underestimating you.”</p><p>Aziraphale still looking at the book shrugs, before placing it carefully on the table, walking around to meet with Crowley.</p><p>“They leave me alone,-”</p><p>“Did you get a response from Paul?” Crowley cut him off still not looking at the angel, wanting to fidget, he pocket his hands in the coat.</p><p>Aziraphale looked at him carefully and sigh knowing he was defeated.</p><p>“No, not really, I looked into the ranking and I’m still pretty down on the line.”</p><p>Crowley turned to finally look at him with a frown.</p><p>“You can look at the list? They gave you access? I thought they would bar you out of everything.” </p><p>Aziraphale felt his cheek warmed even without a corporation.</p><p>“Ha, see, they didn’t really give me access, I might just...you know, get around it and-”</p><p>“You hack in the Heavenly host system? Oh angel,” Crowley hands over his heart watching Aziraphale with heart eyes.</p><p>“Oh, hush don’t make it sound so scandalous.” Aziraphale bat at him, his smile dropped as his hand just went through the demon arms. Crowley winces the angel soul going through him was like accidentally scratching on a sunburn.  Aziraphale looked down at his hand, the heaviness in the air of what just happened.</p><p>The phone at the desk starts to ring. Aziraphale huffed annoyed at the phone, holding himself from stomping his foot as he glares at it over his shoulder.</p><p>“Right, well, I should go before angels smell me and decided to smite me anyway. I’ll email you, love you.” Crowley quickly said hiding the blisters forming on his arm from where the angel touched him. He didn’t want Aziraphale to see that he accidentally hurt him, it would only make him guiltier. He nodded, shoving his hands further in the coat pocket to stop him from reaching toward Aziraphale as he backed out of the office, wrapping the large coat around him.</p><p>---</p><p>Aziraphale narrowed his eyes at the archangels retreating back, those, those...BAD angel.  They think they can just push him around like this.  His best friend is a Demon. He has 6000 years of experience doing temptation and successfully hid it from heaven. They have no idea who they are messing with.</p><p>Aziraphale huffed through his nose, pull down his waistcoat and take the phone in hand.</p><p>“What”</p><p>“I’m in, do your worst.”</p><p>“Oh Angel,” Crowley said with reverence fanning himself, “I love it when you talk to me like that.”</p><p>Aziraphale rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face, “Oh shut up.” he said with love before hanging up, pulling out a notebook and pen from the collection he starts to receive* on his desk and start to brainstorm. He didn’t want anything too extravagant, nothing too complicated that the angels would notice and figure out and place him in prison instead of the freedom he has.</p><p>*by receive Aziraphale mean “accidentally” stealing them from fellow Angels.</p><p>Aziraphale sips on his warm tea and makes a list of small pranks he can remember Crowley doing the past few years in their freedom away from head office, plus his 300 plus years to dissuade customers is a great start-up.  He started to smile with giddiness, making another list of items he will need to order.</p><p>***</p><p>“Hey Angel,” Crowley soft voice said from the phone,</p><p>“Hello love, what can I do for you today,”</p><p>“Was just going through some office blog and I got some nice little piece of information you might like.”</p><p>“Oh?” Aziraphale sits up straight, he been bored out of his mind playing whatever game was set on the computer.  Most of his internet usage is being blocked by heaven strict rules. Or probably because he is a traitor to Heaven. Either way, he managed to get around the block with human hacking he never thought he was ever going to use again after upgrading his computer from last year. </p><p>The only thing he has been able to do so far while waiting for more tools was what he had most practice with and is to politely hang up on angels, drop calls, sign up some archangels to annoying mailing lists. </p><p>“Mmhmm, you’re going to love this, you said you have access to some angels calendar right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but I can’t really add anything nefarious since they can see it too.”</p><p>“Oh Angel, oh angel, love, okay, go to Gabriel’s calendar.”</p><p>Aziraphale raised an eyebrow but follow Crowley's instruction and with a few lucky clicks and some tricks he got to the email screen of Gabriel’s email address where they can change the colour, font, and signature.</p><p>“Oh...oh Crowley” Aziraphale let out voice full of love and amazement seeing with the sheer potential of pranks at the screen in front of him.  He can change Gabriel’s email signature, and the archangel wouldn’t know who did it because Aziraphale got it to open the human way.  No angel miracle trace.</p><p>“Oh, I love you,” </p><p>“I know,” Crowley said with cheerfulness, Aziraphale could hear him pulling out sheets of paper crinkling on the other side of the phone like he was preparing for a very important speech.</p><p>“I have a list of potential signature we can change it too.”</p><p>“Oh, we need to be careful, it needs to be subtle, nothing that could really say it was us.” Aziraphale felt the sudden joy and love of working together with Crowley. This is going to be beautiful.</p><p>---</p><p>Aziraphale scorn at the form paper that Gabriel had handed over saying to order more supply with little instruction pamphlet.  The design was...well heavenly.  But it was annoying how Gabriel just uses Aziraphale like he was some useless angel and not the Guardian of the Eastern Gate.  Aziraphale frown and scoff, pulling the sleek mouse closer to him and wake the computer up typing the website to order stationary.  At least the last receptionist had left detailed instructions on the pamphlet.</p><p>It had been a few days since Crowley and he changed the archangels signatures, they still didn’t figure it out and Sandalphon even asked Aziraphale how to change it back.  Aziraphale with years of acting practice faint knowing how to do this complicated modern email thing. He didn’t even know about signatures, or you could even change it! Wasn’t that something that comes with those electronic mails? What happens to the good old fashion written mail.</p><p>“Upload your design” Aziraphale read out loud and hummed, there was already created designed saved on the folder but… Aziraphale tilts his head at one of the heaven design, a slow devilish smile grows on his face, he reached for the phone and dial the phone number he memorized centuries ago.</p><p>“What”</p><p>“Dear, how good is your artistic talent.”</p><p>“Still pretty good if I say so myself.” Crowley preen</p><p>“Humm, how is your logo design skills.”</p><p>“What do you have in mind?” Crowley said with sure giddy excitement, he loves it when Aziraphale got an idea to torment those angels for keeping him longer in heaven then needed.  With Crowley input, the angel got really good a small chaos pranks. Small devilish temptation.</p><p>The colour scheme was nauseating, the previous heaven designs are a drag but Aziraphale ideas were genius, the beautiful bastard.  Three hours of pouring his sweat and blood and distant on the design he was pleased with the result and email it back to the Angel.</p><p>Two weeks after, Aziraphale received the stationary as ordered. He told Gabriel to come to pick it up.  It took every acting class in two centuries for him to not lose control.  Gabriel looks confident and proud. Aziraphale wanted to gag.</p><p>Gabriel opens the box and looked at the new notepad with glee.  He frowns.  Something was off with the design.</p><p>“It’s this the design I ordered?” He asked Aziraphale, </p><p>“Hm? Oh yes, I followed the instructions to the T, why is something wrong?” Aziraphale said innocently. Ignoring that the instruction he follows to a T is how to upload your new and improved design made by the love of your life and partner demon on Earth.</p><p>“No, no, must just be the ink or something. Of course, thank you Aziraphale.” Gabriel smiled tensely and grab the box to distribute it to the other worker.</p><p>“Oh no, don’t thank me,” Aziraphale said with a devious smile at the retreating Archangel.  </p><p>The design was subtle, only an angel who knew what gender or sex of humans would see that something is familiar with the shape of the heavenly design… very...phallus shape.  Aziraphale snickers at it and let out a laugh, he is starting to understand why Crowley love doing those types of mischievous.  The small chaos was a delight.</p><p>---</p><p>Aziraphale made a face behind Garbiel’s back mimicking what he just said with annoyance before huffing slumping down on the chair swing from side to side. It has been two months he was stationed at the reception at heaven and he still didn’t have any updates about his corporation.  The wait was getting annoying.</p><p>Aziraphale picked up the pen that his boss had left on the pristine white table.  He rolls it in his palm ready to throw it in the basket setting across the empty room when he notices purple writing on it’s the side.  </p><p>“Huh” Aziraphale tilts his head to read the writing and frown, still looking at the pen he picked up the receiver and hold it on his ear with his shoulder as he taps the phone number inscribed in purple on the pen.  It rings once, twice.</p><p>“Good Morning Gabriel speaking, how can I help you!” A jovial voice said.</p><p>Aziraphale hangs up the phone.</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>An idea started to form in his mind, a very very bad, good idea.</p><p>“Ohh, Aziraphale,” He whispered to himself a small smile forming on his lips, he picked up the receiver again, “you are a bad angel.” using the pen he types the familiar phone number.</p><p>“What.”</p><p>“Hello, Crowley, demon of my heart, love of my life.” Aziraphale said a grin on his face as he leaned on the chair making creak ominously, “I need a favour” He added sweetly,</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Aziraphale could hear the evil smile on his friend’s face.</p><p>“Mmhmm, can you write this down”</p><p>And continued to say his plan, hearing Crowley cackling laugh on the other side of the phone made his stay at Heaven the most sweeter.  Done with the call, smile still on his face he throws the pen in the air. It did a perfect arc and land in the basket with a thud. Aziraphale cheers for himself and went back on the computer.  He has some episodes to catch up.</p><p>---</p><p>“Hello gorgeous, what are you doing here all alone,” Someone said leaning on the reception table sliding a small white box across. Aziraphale looked eye wide at the delivery person’s mouth agape.</p><p>“Yes I understand, see if you open,” and hung up the phone, “Crowley, what are doing here” He hissed leaning over the table noses nearly touching.</p><p>Crowley smile widen, he was wearing the same beige coat from before, a white cap with a delivery logo on and silver sunglasses, the golden cowboy boots was upgraded to silver cowboy boots.</p><p>“Got you a gift,” Crowley tap on the white box,</p><p>“Crowley, I love you, and I probably will love whatever is in this but this is dangerous! Micheal will be coming in-”</p><p>“Relax, I got everything covered,” Crowley said pulling the label up like some sort of movie cool hero. “Now I just need you to sign this.” He handed over a clipboard with a very official delivery paper. Aziraphale sigh, roll his eyes and sign his name on the line xed for him.</p><p>“Mmhmm, so we’re on stealing clothes stage of our relationship?” Aziraphale eye sparkle with love as he crosses his arms on the table.</p><p>“Oh I wish, I just have the perfect shirt you could try that I know you would absolutely pull off.”</p><p>“Pull off me or you?”</p><p>“Oh Angel,” Crowley said, he was about to lean more to get the kiss he been dreaming about since the discorporation (fuck the fact that it will hurt like a mofo) when the door open and both jump away from the table.</p><p>Micheal frowns at both of them.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“O-oh, just a delivery man Micheal, delivering me this!” Aziraphale said bringing the white box closer to him with a shaking tense smile.  Micheal slow step closer eyeing the demon.</p><p>“Have I seen you before?” She asked Crowley with suspicion.</p><p>“Aye, nay ma’am new to this part of the country, just doing ay delivery.” Crowley channels his Scottish accent, pulling the cap low on his forehead.</p><p>She hummed looking at the box, “is that everything?”</p><p>“Yes, yup, righti-o.” Crowley gives a two-finger salute stepping back. Before sauntering out of the secretarial place.</p><p>“He looked familiar,” Micheal mused eyeing the door, Aziraphale grabbed an envelope opener pulling the box close to him trying to find where to stab open the box.</p><p>“Might have delivered things before? I never saw him.” Aziraphale easily lies cutting the tape and open the box. He frowns at the content. He pulls it out.</p><p>“Oh Bluetooth headset, Gabriel been talking about those, very useful,” Micheal said looking at the package in Aziraphale’s hands.</p><p>“Right,” Aziraphale remembering his rant last night about Gabriel “I must have...ordered a pair hearing him talk about it. You know, to be more productive?” Crowley, why did you gave me this hellish thing!</p><p>Michael deadpan look at him, “I’m sure,” She drawl, remembering that Aziraphale made a deal with a demon so they could divide the load and be lazy and lie about it on their report. Him being productive is the biggest lie she ever heard.</p><p>“Ah, is there anything I can help with Micheal?” Aziraphale offhandedly said looking in the box, there where more things in but he didn’t want Micheal to look, just in case that it had some demonic aura to them.</p><p>“No, just wanted to make sure everything is going accordingly here.”</p><p>“Yes, everything is...according to plan.”</p><p>Michael glare at his choice of words before dropping the Bluetooth box back on his desk.</p><p>“Good, keep up the good work,” Micheal sneer and twirl out of the office.  The door she came too disappeared seemingly in the walls, leaving the angel alone in a windowless, doorless four walls prison.</p><p>Aziraphale scrunches his nose in distaste and looks at what else is in the box.  A few pots of different colour glitter, wireless super glue gun, some old gold coin, a few silver and white pearl-like beads. At the bottom was a picture of Crowley and Azirapahel a few weeks before he got unfortunately discorporate.  Aziraphale sighs happily at it, turns to see the demon drawn a heart at the back.</p><p>Aziraphale sigh full of love hugging the picture to his chest feeling the love inband in the picture from the demon.  He quickly hid the picture in his inner pocket and took the full of childish prank content in the bottom drawer of his table for future uses.  He cut the box and fold it for recycling later.</p><p>He needs to figure out how to set up this new technology.  Figures that the only way to get him back in this century is by pranking Heaven. He laughed to himself as he opened the instruction pamphlet.</p><p>__</p><p>Aziraphale groans when he hears the ding he got an email, he pauses the episode he was watching and switch to his emails.  He frowns, it was a meeting request for him, but what was odd is that it hasn’t any sender email. It was just blank.  He opens the request.  A meeting at the boardroom that would just appear connected to the office when needed in two hours from now.</p><p>If he had a corporation all his blood would have drained when he read the message attached to the meeting request.  Jaw dropped and handshaking he picks up the headset and calls the only person he trusts.</p><p>“What.”</p><p>“I just received a meeting request from God.”</p><p>Crowley looked back at his phone, the id mark that it is Aziraphale office number, he brings it back to his ear.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I received a meeting request from God,” Aziraphale said panicking, “with me!”</p><p>“Okay, that is what I thought I heard. You can say no?”</p><p>“I can’t say no to God!” Aziraphale hissed at the phone reception, “What do you want me to say? Oh Sorry, Mother I’m too busy doing minimal discord to your heavenly hosts because they refuse to give me a body to return to my demon husband on Earth?!” Aziraphale screech going into panic dropping his head in his hand with a groan. “I’m lucky enough to not be destroyed on the spot!”</p><p>“Nkg, okay relax, I don't think they can destroy you, you might fall but-”</p><p>“Crowley, if I didn’t fall when I married you I don’t think a few small pranks will make me.” Aziraphale sighed leaning back on the chair looking at the invite on his screen.</p><p>“What do I even bring! Does God drink tea? Or eat?”</p><p>“How should I know, She hasn’t responded to anyone in decades, are you sure its the Almighty?”</p><p>Aziraphale still looking at the invite, it hadn’t an email address attached, it was just GOD at the sending, and the signature was a 2000 look with asterisks and flowy dashes with ALMIGHTY in a cursive looking font.  It would change colours every time he was reading it.</p><p>“Yes.” He said with certainty, none of the archangels knew how to change their signature since Aziraphale updated them.  He doubts they could manage to send an email without an email address.</p><p>Crowley wasn’t really any help, he couldn’t really from down there. But he did send the order of small delicacy and pastry because he knew that Aziraphale uses to eat to cope with his anxiety.  He also sent a Rubix cube and a new small potted plant.  Aziraphale changed its placement three times already before the meeting hour arrives.  Like all the doors, the boardroom door just appeared from one of the walls making Aziraphale frett more.  He grabbed the tray holding his best tea and tea set with some cut fruits and vegetables.</p><p>He removed the apple slice already. Damn Crowley from trying to be funny.</p><p>With a deep breath that he doesn’t need, he uses a miracle to open the door and step in.</p><p>The room was long with a white marble looking table made to hold dozens of angels.  But only two plush looking chairs were set across from each other in the middle of the table. </p><p>Aziraphale swallowed and walked in further, with shaking hands he delicately set the tray on the table between the two chairs.  He frets his hands together. He didn’t know if he should sit or, start to prepare the tea.  How does God take her tea? What do you do when your meeting with God, who hasn’t been talking since Eden.</p><p>“You can relax Aziraphale you’re not in trouble,” An amused voice said.  A tall woman was sitting on the chair across from him.  She was dark skin with short hair her eyes pure light.  She smiled up at the angel, rubbing her pregnant belly.</p><p>“Ah, hum, hello mother, ha I mean-”</p><p>God giggles, sounding like windchime and ocean waves.</p><p>“Please, no need to be so formal, have a seat.” She waved at the chair in front of her, Aziraphale hesitates for a moment before pulling the chair out and sitting.</p><p>“I made tea? I don’t know how you take it,” He said voice wavering, as he took the teapot and slowly fill the cups.</p><p>“Just a splash of milk please,” God said with a smile.  Aziraphale gives her the tea with a splash of milk.</p><p>“What hum, what did you want to talk about?” Aziraphale said with a wince,  he felt the need to twist his hands together fretting again but use his energy to pull the teacup closer to him.</p><p>“I wanted to talk with you about the amazing pranks you’ve been pulling.” She said with reverence and started to laugh, “Do you know how many angels are praying to me? Or what report Metreon been sending up? They are HILARIOUS”</p><p>“Ha, you..you know about those,”</p><p>“Of course, oh, don’t look so glum your not in trouble, This is the most joy I felt in heaven in decades.” She waved his nervous energy away, and just like that Aziraphale felt the calm and love spread through like the first sip of warm drink.</p><p>“Oh,” he said smiling feeling the love, “Well, I’m glad that you enjoy them.”</p><p>“Yes, I really do, now.” She placed her cup down on the saucer and took a piece of cucumber, “How did you change the archangels signature on their email? Because it's brilliant.”</p><p>“Oh, that was easy, they gave me authorization on their calendar, it was just a few clicks away after that,” Aziraphale said with a shrug.</p><p>“And they still didn’t figure it out?!”</p><p>“Gabriel still thinks that the potted plant was at the office from the start, I’m not surprised.”</p><p>God burst out laughing at that head tilt back.  Aziraphale slowly warming up to the casual meeting with God.</p><p>“Oh yes, Gabriel, the poor boy, he still receiving those phone calls did you know?”</p><p>Aziraphale let out a small giggle before hiding his smile behind his teacup, “oh I know, I can hear him yell from the office.  I’ve been sending the new phone number too-” Aziraphale cut himself looking panic at God.</p><p>“Aziraphale, you are not in trouble, I won't punish you for love,” God said with a soft smile and a calming voice.  She reaches and holds Aziraphale shaking hands in hers.</p><p>“I knew about you two union and love and it is what I wish heaven would understand and remember. Love.”</p><p>“Oh,” Aziraphale said in a small voice, looking down at their hands “so you...approve?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” God said letting go of his hands and grab a few fruits in her mouth. “And I must say, the dress was beautiful.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale blushed and smiled down at his cup, “He was.” he said softly taking a sip of his tea before clearing his throat and grabbing a piece of pineapple.</p><p>“I’ve been sending the new phone number to Crowley so that he can update them from where he scrawls them.”</p><p>“Beautiful, masterful really,” God answered with a grin.  Then her eye literally glows with stars as she remembered something and pull out the heaven notepad with the new very phallus shape logo with a flourish.</p><p>“Also this!” She exclaimed waving the notepad in the air.</p><p>“Oh I’m pretty proud of that one,” Aziraphale said leaning back on the chair, more open knowing that he wasn’t in any trouble, but that God just wanted to gossip, and he is all for this. </p><p>“Took a lot of coordination for that to have worked, and still only a fraction of the heavenly host see the problem with it.”</p><p>“I know!” God gasp laughing looking at the stationary, “Oh Aziraphale,” She wipes her eyes off tears.</p><p>They continue to chat about the various TV shows he watches while stationed here and the various tricks he pulls with the phone from centuries dealing with human customers. They chat for half an hour until the tea was cold and the fruit and vegetables are eaten.</p><p>The discussion fall to the wedding and the human friends and Adam. Too God meeting with Crowley again, Aziraphale said it wouldn’t be a good idea, he still not over the Flood thing.  But somehow manage to agree to go to dinner the three of them, to talk about pranking Heaven again with the demon side.</p><p>“Ha, but first” God waved a hand in front of him and Aziraphale felt the warmth and heaviness as he feels his spirit fill in a corporation. </p><p>He looked down at himself to see the very modern three-piece suit. He mourned for his old clothes but this will do.  He pulled his jacket down and button them, he waved at the plate and teacup miracle them down at the shop.  He smiles at God</p><p>“Let me call Crowley to pick us up, then we can go to dinner.”</p><p>“Of course, please” She waved for him to go first.  She watches as her child walks toward the table, sits on the desk as he calls down on earth to his demon husband.  She knew that the phone couldn’t reach earth. It was a heaven phone and should only accept or do call in heaven.  But it didn’t occur to Aziraphale that a phone couldn't call Crowley, and with just his heavenly host, made the phone be able to call Crowley and accept calls from Crowley.  Just a lil thing she is going to keep quiet.  She has a dinner to go to and meeting Crowley after so long and a small mess to look over in heaven.</p><p>She hears Gabriel yell of anguish through the wall.  </p><p>But not yet, she taught smiling, placing her coat on as Aziraphale finish his call and pack up some of the tools he locked in the bottom drawer. He miracle a canvas bag and quickly drop them in with a smile at God before both leave Heaven.  He gives his arm to God who now looked like an ageing grandmother, her short hair now gray and wrinkled hand accepting Aziraphale arm as purchase as they leave Heaven together.</p><p>A Demon is waiting for them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aziraphale: "Crowley did you see my bag?"<br/>Crowley: "You're what?"<br/>Aziraphale: "the bag, with all the prank equipment, I left it in the Bentley."</p><p>Crowley looked at the backseat then at the Angel. Both lookup. Aziraphale starts to giggle.  The giggle transforms into full-on laughter together.</p><p>Guess the prank won't stop now that Aziraphale is gone.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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